Dean Winchester's Guide to Pissing off Librarians (Library Verse)
by DeathsLights
Summary: When Dean first sees the stiff, serious librarian who never smiles, he just wants to fuck with him. Just wants to piss him off so badly that he loses his shit. And that's exactly what he tries to do.


**I couldn't help myself! Stern librarian Cas and then Dean just being a little shit about it. IT NEEDED TO BE WRITTEN!**

******Update: 2013/10/21 Because of confusion which I am sorry for . Sorry! I've made it so this series will happen in one place! So don't worry it will continue I promise! Sorry!**

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**Dean Winchester's Guide to Pissing off Librarians**

When Dean first sees the stiff, serious librarian who never smiles, he just wants to _fuck with him_. Just wants to piss him off so badly that he loses his shit. And that's exactly what he tries to do.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Dean quickly shoved the book in his hand hazardously into a random spot and hid behind a shelf as he heard footsteps approach. He peeked through the small opening between the books and watched as the librarian paused and frowned as he looked at the bookshelf. Dean snickered, he'd been doing this for weeks now, fucking up only his section by moving and hiding the books.

The dark haired man squinted and picked up the book. "This does not belong here."

"Castiel? Is something wrong?"

He turned to look over his shoulder at the other librarian. "It is odd. The books in the mythological and biblical sections keep being misplaced. This has been happening continuously for the past few weeks."

"Huh, that's weird. It must be pissing you off though."

Castiel shook his head. "No, it is not." His lips twitched a little as he gently let his fingers drift over the cover. "Usually these sections are hardly touched. I am glad that someone at least has an interest in these books."

She frowned. "Someone could be doing it on purpose."

He turned to place the book in its rightful place. "Even so, I rarely have much to do these days. It is nice to feel useful."

Dean frowned as he watched the two walk away. Well that didn't work. He narrowed his eyes; he'd just have to try harder next time.

-.-.-.-.-.-

If moving books around didn't bother him then maybe some music would. Dean turned up the volume on his mp3, nothing like some classic rock. He banged his head in time with the music, even adding a little air guitar to make things more fun. Now this would get a reaction out of the librarian. Dean whirled around and froze as he spotted a bunch of children watching him.

"What? AC/DC deserves air guitar."

A little girl with pigtails frowned. "I think you're saying your ABC's wrong. It's ABCD not ACDC minster."

The boy next to her let out a giggle. "He doesn't know his ABC's!"

Dean glared. "No you little brat, it's a band! That makes music, none of that pop shit that's around these days. Here listen." He bent down and waved the kids closer to himself as he increased the volume. Once the song had finished playing he nodded. "Music, this is music. And you head bang and air guitar because it's a rule when you hear this kind of music."

And that's how twenty minutes later Dean finds himself playing air guitar with a bunch of kids, all of them rocking out with him.

"It seems they are all enjoying themselves."

Dean froze and quickly turned to look behind him. "I-"

Castiel slowly approached and gave them a little smile, his eyes softening as he looked down at the kids. "I feared that they would be disappointed that story-time was cancelled, but it seems that it is no longer a worry." He looked up at Dean and nodded. "Thank you, Mister…?"

Dean cleared his throat. "Dean, Dean Winchester."

The librarian nodded. "Thank you Dean. I am Castiel."

The Winchester awkwardly spoke, "No problem."

"Cas! Cas!" The little girl grabbed Castiel's sleeve and tugged it urgently.

He turned to look down at her. "Yes, Emma?"

"Did you know there's a band that's called AC/DC? I think they didn't know their ABC's when they picked their name!"

"Well then, you are very intelligent than because you know yours, correct?"

Her cheeks flushed and she beamed brightly. "Yeah!"

"I know my ABC's too!" a boy next to her added as he raised his hand.

"Me too!" shouted another.

The librarian gave them all a tiny smile "Of course you are very bright then. Now, your mothers and fathers are waiting to pick you up. Thank Mr. Winchester for spending his time with you."

"Thank you, Mr. Winchester!" all of the children chorused together as they all ran off.

Cas turned to look at Dean. "Thank you."

Dean watched him walk away, stunned. He swallowed; he didn't know the librarian could smile like that.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Okay so the last plan had failed, but this, this was sure to get a reaction out of him. Dean's mouth watered as he pulled out the juicy, glistening, burger out of the grease stained paper bag. He gently eased out the side of good old American apple pie. Now this was food, none of the crap Sam orders.

Dean gripped the burger and opened his mouth ready to take a giant bite-"Dean?"

The Winchester stopped and turned to look over his shoulder, grinning. "Yo, if it ain't my favourite librarian. What can I do for you?"

"You cannot eat here."

Dean cockily smiled. "What're you gonna do about it?"

Cas narrowed his eyes. "You do not want to test me, Dean."

The Winchester's grin widened. "I think do."

Castiel tilted his head and blinked.

-.-.-.-.-.-

"GIVE ME BACK MY BURGER! OR MY PIE! OKAY THE PIE AT LEAST! CAS, COME ON, ANYTHING BUT THE PIE!"

Dean sneered, oh this was so on. No one messed with his pie!

-.-.-.-.-.-

Dean chuckled as he took a sip of his beer and threw his arm behind the couch as he leaned back deeper into it. Man he was good.

Sam looked up from his laptop. He squinted his eyes in suspicion. "Why are you laughing?"

"What, can't a man be happy?"

"Men, yes. Dean Winchester, not unless there's alcohol and porn involved."

"You forgot pie." Dean muttered.

The younger brother ignored him. "You've been happier these days. Why?"

Dean smirked. "Maybe I'm just happy."

"What did you do, Dean?"

"Come on Sam, why do you gotta think I've done something?"

"_Dean._"

Dean rolled his eyes, he could hear the bitchface his brother was making. "You remember that stiff librarian?"

Sam groaned and shook his head. "Dean, tell me you haven't been doing what I think you've been doing."

"Come on Sammy, did you see his face? How could I not want to fuck with him?"

"You sure you don't want to fuck him?" he muttered.

Dean whirled around to look at his brother. "What was that, Sam?"

"Nothing. So what did you do exactly?"

"First I moved some books around and hid some. When that didn't work I decided to play some loud music and when that didn't work I decided to eat food-"

"Let me guess, that didn't work, did it?" Sam smirked.

Dean scoffed, "No it didn't. But then I got this idea of asking him to look for this book that doesn't exist. Now that should piss him off."

Sam rolled his eyes and resumed his typing. "You're like a five year old pulling a girl's pigtails."

Dean glared. "Bitch, if anyone has those pigtails it's you, princess."

The younger Winchester shook his head. "I hope he punches you, jerk."

-.-.-.-.-.-

"Dean."

Oh this was going to be good. Dean smirked and turned around. "Yo Cas, did you-" his smile dropped as he saw the other man.

"I have found your book Dean." Cas blinked.

"Jesus Cas, what happened to you?" The librarian's normally pristine white shirt was smudged with dust and dirt, his hair in even more disarray than usual. Even his tie was more crooked than normal

Castiel tilted his head. "It was difficult to locate. I had to go into the archives underneath the library but I found it, which is the reason for my current appearance."

Dean swallowed. "You're bleeding."

Cas looked down and frowned. "Ah, yes. I may have fallen a few times."

"Cas you should have left it."

He smiled a little. "It is rare that people come to me for help, since mythological and biblical work is not...as popular as it once was." Cas gently handed the book to Dean. "So thank you for making me feel useful. I hope you enjoy this book."

Dean watched him walk away. He turned to look at the book in his hands and frowned.

Jesus, he's an asshole. Sam was right; he deserves to be punched in the face.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Dean walked up to the information desk and cleared his throat, "Hey, is Cas around?"

The girl behind the counter glared. "Why? Are you going to fuck with him some more? It wasn't enough that he made a fool of himself looking for that book and got hurt?

The Winchester stiffened. "Okay look, I just wanted-"

She slammed her hands on the table. "No! First it was moving all the books around. That was fine, a dick move, but fine. You tried to create a scene here by playing music and that somehow made you into a nice guy, and then eating in the library, that was okay as well. But then you purposely told him to find a book that you knew didn't exist and he got hurt!"

"I see."

Dean closed his eyes. Fuck. He slowly turned to face Castiel. "Cas-"

"I was mistaken it seems, in understanding your motives, but do not worry, that will not happen again." Castiel clenched his jaw and stiffly walked away.

Dean groaned, "Shit."

"Nice move, dick." The girl happily chirped. "Now get the fuck out!"

He glared at her. "I'm going. Bitch."

She narrowed her eyes. "Run or I'm going to kick you in the balls."

Dean decided to do his balls a favour and ran.

-.-.-.-.-.-

"I take it that he found out?"

Dean resolutely continued to stuff his face.

Sam frowned. "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay then." Sam grinned. "I see that your face is okay. I guess he didn't punch you."

"Fuck off, Sam." Dean glared down at his food banefully. "It would've been better if he had." Dean grumbled as he shoved another forkful into his mouth.

"You can just talk to him Dean. Like a normal human being and then ask him out."

"GET OUT OF HERE SAM! NOBODY ASKED YOU!"

Sam chuckled as he walked away from his screaming brother.

Dean muttered to himself. He sighed, he'd have to go and talk to Cas. If Cas wanted to see him that was.


End file.
